Confessions

As I think of ways to take revenge and to make you as broken as I am, I feel a horrifying pain, as though a million knives are piercing my heart. How is it that whenever I think about hurting you, I am the one who ends up bleeding. After so long, why do I still care? I hate that about myself, I try so hard to forget, but I just can't. I feel that I am sinking into my dark, hateful personality again because I want nothing but to make other people feel the pain I had to go through. I want to take away their happy endings, to destroy all the love there is in the world. If I can't have happiness, no one else can. I am suffering, and I want everyone else to suffer as well.

Can you tell how afraid I am? This dark side of me is scary, and twisted. For now, my good side is still persevering, there's a part of me that wants to remain a good person. But everyday as I see happy people around me (with someone that cares for them), I am slowly losing the battle. They have people who care for them, but I have no one. People say that sharing about your pain will help to lessen it, but I can't bring myself to tell anyone about it because I don't want them to be burdened by my problems.

Deep down, I'm just a lonely soul that no one cares about. There was a period of time when I did have someone that cared about me, and someone to care for, and during that time I felt like I was part of this world, like I was a living, breathing human being again. But that time has gone, and now I'm back to my old self.

If I turn back into my evil, hateful self again, please don't hate me.

School, Tiffany Blue and The Originals !

Howdy y'all. It's been about 3 weeks since my last post, and the reason why I've been away is because I'm back in school again and all of a sudden my life got a whole lot less interesting and I basically had nothing to blog about. But honestly, even during the holidays I had nothing remotely fascinating to blog about because my life is just that boring.

Anyway, like I've mentioned, I'm back in school again. And it just sucks. There are so many assignments and tests I have to prepare for, so I've been walking around like a stressed out mess. What's more, lessons end in the evening every single day. How horrible is that? I get home feeling super tired and I just wanna crawl into bed and sleep for the next century or something. But I can't, because guess what? I have school at 8 the next morning. Isn't it tragic how I'm going to be stuck in this vicious cycle for the next 3 months? How can anyone enjoy school? I obviously can't because I'm too busy walking around like a zombie.

Although school sucks, I've got to deal with it because we don't really have a choice what happens in life. There's really no point complaining or fighting against it because at end of the day, we still have to face it. So why not see it as an opportunity for improvement and growth? And always give your best shot, don't end up regretting because you didn't.

I am currently obsessing over Tiffany Blue, the colour like on those Tiffany & Co boxes. I think that it's so pretty, my room is the same shade, and I recently got a nail polish in the colour so I'm wearing it on my nails now and I am so in love. Thank you Meghan for getting me obsessed with this gorgeous shade of blue.

The TV show I've been crazy about these days is The Originals. If you haven't heard, The Originals is a spin-off of The Vampire Diaries. I love Vampire Diaries (you can read my post on it here) and when I found out that they were going to do a spin-off I pretty much freaked out. The Originals finally premiered a few weeks ago, and so far the show's been absolutely awesome, I highly recommend it. It doesn't matter if don't watch Vampire Diaries, The Originals have a different storyline, so the 2 shows have practically no relation.

That is all for this post ! I will be taking my leave to go watch the new episode of The Originals !