Monday, January 20, 2014
It's been eons since my last post. I should assume you didn't miss me too much, it's a terribly painful thing to miss someone. I should know, after all I have been missing somebody for the past 10 months. I know that at this point, there's no going back and I'm just heading into a deep abyss, with neither a bottom nor end. I have long pondered if a conclusion to this tragic tale could put me out of this misery, however, will I be able to accept the conclusion? Or would this undimmed hope of mine lead me further into denial, and cloud my mind with delusions that there's still a continuation to our story, and that someday, somehow, our stars would align again. There's nothing stronger in my mind now, than my refusal to believe that I would never receive the fairytale happy ending that I had so hoped for.
I don't want to believe it's completely over between us, I don't care if at the end, all this waiting around for him, turns out to be completely useless and I wasted all my time. I said that I wanted to spend all my time with him. If I can't do that, I don't mind spending all my time waiting for him.
He gave me so much happiness and a light to my life and in one moment he took it all away, and there was nothing I could do about it. I suppose I have no reason to blame him because everyone has the right to make their own choices. I can only blame myself for opening my heart, this is my price to pay, all this yearning, regret, devastation and suffering. Oh endless suffering.
I could write a thousand love songs, but would any of them touch his heart? I could hope and pray for a million days, would Heaven pity me enough to rewrite my fate?
Friday, January 10, 2014
No Comprende
Sometimes I find it exceedingly difficult to understand classes and lecture notes, and I'm going to go straight out and just blame it on the fact that my lecturers' poor command of English affects how I understand what they're trying to say.
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