Woeful Wednesday

It’s been a long time since I felt like this, like something’s eating away at me. I don’t remember how to live anymore, I don’t feel the need to eat or sleep, in fact I don’t feel anything at all. This, whatever this is, it’s like morphine, numbs you completely so you don’t feel anything. I can’t remember how my life was in the past, did I have any aspirations, was there anything I cared about? I don’t remember who I was.  She tells me it’s because my mind is trying to block away memories of the past because psychologically I can’t handle any more pain.  I feel destroyed, do I even bear any semblance to the person I was before?  How did I get here, I don’t feel anything, I cannot be bothered about anything in the outside world. Everyone and everything is moving around me and I’m just stuck, like a rock in flowing water. I’m just here, breathing, and that’s it. I have to find my way back to old me, if I don’t I think I’ll lose my mind.