The Truth About Chngyi

I have a habit of hiding secrets from people, when people try to find out more about me, I don’t tell them everything, sometimes I let them jump to their own conclusions because I don’t like to reveal everything.  Because I keep feeling as though people keep poking around in my head, since I was a kid, I’ve had to see so many psychiatrists because of my parents’ divorce, those psychiatrists were always like “How is this affecting you? What do you feel about this? How are you going to deal with that? Does it cause you ______ when you see _____? Do you feel angry about this? What do you feel like doing since you’re angry? Will you do this? What went through your mind while you felt this way ?” I was 10, and I had to endure hours of psychological evaluation every single week. They thought I couldn’t deal with the separation of my parents, no what I couldn’t deal with was them examining my head like I was some experiment. So throughout the years of growing up, I learnt how to dodge questions, reveal some things and hide the rest, I didn’t want them to get in my head anymore. Which is why now that I am older I find it so hard to reveal things about myself, and why it’s so difficult for me to tell you everything.  I’m so sorry to all the people around me.

It wasn’t easy typing this post, I’m afraid of being judged after revealing this part of my past that barely anyone knows about. But to my friends I owe you guys an explanation.

I’m trying my best to be more open, I really am, it’s just so difficult